Thursday, May 31, 2007

4 months later ...

I've been meaning to post ... but now that I'm sitting here I don't quite remember what I thought would be very interesting.

We've been VERY busy. And we are healing from our January experience. There are definitely times when I am upset that we haven't been able to conceive a child, but they aren't as often as before. Through Feb, March, and April I couldn't hardly get through a day without some serious weeping.
There were also days when I thought we were way too busy to be able to handle a pregnancy or a baby. Thomas and I can juggle a lot, but I think it would have been too much. I guess, we would have just had to put other stuff on hold ... and that would have been difficult also.

We are planning to go back for IVF in September for the frozen embryo transfer (FET). What that means is come July we have to contact the nurse about medications and procedures for then. So things will start moving again in that direction soon. I guess it's possible we could change our minds about when to do the FET, but I doubt it.

It's always so confusing ... folks will tell you that when the time is right you will have a child ... or when God decides the time is right ... well, I'm still wondering how we know when that is ... because if September is not the "time" we could save some money and give our embryos the chance to be saved. I thought the right time was January, so what was I missing then. Maybe my point is, I really don't like these comments. Whether the time is right or not, our job is still to make the best decision based on what we know, because we can't know what God knows. So, I'm not sure why anyone says it.

Anyway, back on point. Things have been busy, and I truly believe that if I had been pregnant, we would have had a very rough few months. Just over the last few weeks we completely demolished our yard and repaired it again. Here is an example - take a look at the pictures. Here's two of the back/side of the house during the demolition phase and after. Now that many of the main projects are completed with the house ... for now ... maybe we can get on with our fertility plans.

On that note, we are also taking a MAPP Class. This class is a state required class if you are interested in fostering or adopting a child. I would say the first couple classes everything seemed like common sense, but now, after a few weeks, I have decided the class if very useful and at the least has us thinking more about how to identify needs of children, and at the most is teaching us to be better parents. At this point, we haven't committed to fostering or adopting, but we wanted to be ready and prepared should something come up during the year.