Speaking words of encouragement

"When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger." Ephesians 4:29 (NCV)

I couldn't let the night go without posting about this ... one of the areas I feel like I really struggle is speaking words of love and encouragement to my children. Mothers have the incredible responsibility of speaking words that will build our children. And this is a very insightful reminder from one of my favorite bloggers.

"Just for today:
Couldn’t all the words out of my mouth only be the strengthening words? Words that nourish their bones and muscle their hearts.
What if I tried to change nothing in children but I focused on only this: Let the tongue speak only the words that make souls stronger. "

Please go to her post to read.

Welcome to St. George Island

Definitely one of my favorite things about Florida is the beautiful beaches. Last weekend we headed to St. George Island with some friends and had such a wonderful time. It was very overcast and a little chilly, but it was still really great. I think I would prefer it a little cool, rather than too hot. I only wish it was closer. It takes about 2 hours to get to this beach from our house.

It was the very first time the children enjoyed the beach. At first, Jasper didn't like the sand at all. He kept trying to lift his feet up, then realizing it wouldn't work because he would then fall it, he gave up. But it was mere minutes before they were both off playing and happy. Most likely due to the fact that they had their favorite playmate of all time - Kacy. They looove her and ask for her all the time.

So it was a little cool, and it is April. But that didn't stop us from have a great time. Petra and Jasper both loved the water. Petra wanted to stay in it continously, and we had to make her get out because she was shivering and turning blue. We laughed so hard when she would scream at the water in excitement. It was also very funny to hear her screaming in glee "I'm swimming, I'm swimming" as she sat on her hands and knees and the waves crashed around her. Jasper was his normal self, completely unfrightened by anything and would head out head deep in the water if we let him. After a swim, I had to wrap them up tight in a towel until they warmed up.

Kacy helped the children dig for sand fleas; thomas showed them a crab; and we even saw a few dolphins. All of us are looking forward to our next beach trip. I think Petra asked to go back every day this week, many, many times each day. And before it was all over, Thomas hit the water deep with a fishing pole in hand. And was a little disappointed as he watched spanish feed about 30 yards away from the end of his line. He just couldn't get out far enough. Every time I turned to look at him, he had inched out further and further. By the end he was chest high in the water.

Today, its a week later. Work has been busy. Life has been busy. But all in all I'm very blessed. Our family continously has a wonderful time together. My children love each other and we all cherish our time together. Today, was another great and busy day. We spent about the day in Marianna, FL, a little over an hour's drive away, promoting foster care and adoption at festival. When I do these things, I often don't have my children with me. But today, I realized how great it is when they are there. Many people can't imagine what its like to have a foster child or to adopt a child. There always seems to be a general thought that your own biological children are somehow better. I've seen it over and over again in people I meet. But seeing our family gives many a better understanding that it is love that makes a family, and not blood.

In fact, I had a perfect example of this today. I've been around one woman weekly who told me just 4 months ago that her and her husband would never adopt ... this was in shocked response to my acknowledgement to her that Petra was adopted. Between then and now, I've met her husband, and they've met and spent time with our children. Today, she told me they were considering fostering and adopting. And I know that seeing the smiles on my children faces, and even the crying, helped provide a clearer understanding that adopted children are themselves amazing.

Easter 2010

We had a fabulous Easter day with friends. We dyed Easter eggs this year for the first time. And they even had their first easter egg hunt ... although there was not much enthusiasm for the hunt. Thomas said it was because I didn't put good candy in the eggs. Instead, I stuffed sugar cereal in them that I bummed off a friend. I had meant to do organic cookies and had left them at home. But regardless, Petra would shake each one to see if there was anything in it and stop to eat it.

And my absolute favorite part of Easter was watching Petra in her first church performance. She "sang" with the other children. We have a video, we hope to share it with each of you at some point.

30 Day Raw Food Challenge Complete!

On Sunday, I completed my 30 day raw challenge, and I am so very glad I did it. The last two weeks have absolutely flown by. I had no real issues with cravings, sickness, tiredness, etc. In fact, I feel like I started to benefit from the diet change. The benefits I saw over the last month included: 13 total pounds in weight loss, flatter abdomen, less bloating and less of that yucky heavy full feeling, better facial complexion (in fact I think the dark circles under my eyes are disappearing), more energy, and no cravings! My blood sugar feels completely level at all times, I don’t feel like I go through highs and lows through the day, and I generally feel younger all over.

There are a lot of people who consider shifting gradually to raw – for instance, many people start out by going 50% raw every day. I didn’t do this. I went 100%, or close to it, and I think this had greater benefits. One of the challenges was learning what to eat and how to prepare meals. I have learned so much about raw recipes and eating in the last month. If I had limited my raw intake to only 50% of the time, I would not have been forced to learn so much about all the many options that a raw diet actually includes. Instead, I would have stuck with smoothies and salads. And in retrospect, I would have really shortchanged the experience and not really obtained a true perspective about it. And I think if I was still eating certain foods, I would be experiencing cravings. And the lack of cravings is what makes choice of going raw so easy.

It’s funny that I’m saying this now, because the first week I posted about this challenge I stated clearly that I needed food ideas. No one gave me any. I couldn’t figure out what else was out there besides fresh fruit and salads. Now it seems like there are so many choices that I could never possibly get tired of a raw diet. You absolutely must check out this blog – Choosing Raw - and look at the photos of meals that you can eat on a raw diet (including the one above in this blog post). Trust me, natural and raw foods are not lacking in taste, flavor or satisfaction. One of my absolutely favorite recipes I found on this website was for Banana Ice Cream. It was heavenly, and all four of us gobbled it down with gusto.

I also really loved the homemade almond and sesame milk I made … so much more than the store bought. Which brings me to another point—about 20 days into my raw challenge I attended a raw class that really helped give me a better understanding of how eating raw really works in a household. What areas you can give and take on when you have a budget? And I learned how to make beloved homemade nut milks—which by the way are incredibly easy, so easy an 8-year-old could do it. At the class I went to we tasted homemade almond milk compared to store bought, and boy was there a difference. We also did some other tasting tests, and between that, and everyday occurrences, I can say that my taste buds have drastically changed this month.

The most common question I’ve heard all month is: But where do you get your protein? Well, this is a very good question. But let me assure you, there are options out there. There are things like avocado, broccoli, and other high-protein veggies. But there are also hemp seeds and nutritional yeast, and other alternative protein sources that I am still discovering and learning about.

Then there is the issue of calcium. Did you know that milk from unhulled sesame seed milk actually has 4 times more calcium than cow’s milk? A little surprising I thought.

There is a lot I still need to learn about getting all the nutrients I need. But I will admit, I did see a doctor before choosing this. And my doctor actually told me that she is vegetarian and that there are numerous of studies out there that show that eating meat leads to a shorter life span. I didn’t ask for details because I had my own reasons for the change.

And while I mentioned it in the opening paragraph, I was a little surprised that my cravings are completely gone. I can actually cook a separate meal for my family, including meat, and not want a bite of it. In fact, I sometimes feel like I’m serving them blind because I don’t taste test anything. One night I accidentally spilt some honey mustard dressing on my finger and before I knew it my finger was in my mouth. Habit I guess. But get this; I could not believe how disgusting it was! Anyway, as a whole, the family is still eating many, many cooked meals. But Thomas and I have introduced more raw foods with each meal. The children really enjoy a green smoothie on a regular basis, chocked full of spinach or kale. And snacks are usually completely raw for them as well. There is always fruit, but I’ve also made a variety of fruit and nut bars for them over the last month. And I’ve learned you can make raw cakes!

I committed to a 30 day challenge and I finished it. So I’m just thinking you may be wondering where this leaves me now. Well, after 33 days raw, I can honestly say I do not want to go back. I am so happy with the way I feel and the food I’m eating, that I plan on staying this way. I never remember feeling this way with any diet. I’m simple amazed at how much I am enjoying choosing raw and I’m really looking forward to making the “nutloaf” pictured above.

Jasper's Hair Cut

Last week, Jasper got his first complete hair cut. I say this, because Thomas had already shaved the sides of his head so that he had a curly mohawk, that really appeard to be a mop. See photo above.

Now we have an adorable little boy ... and it seems his smile and eyes shine now. He had a goofy grin on his face during much of the hair cut.

And then, Petra wanted her hair cut too. So Thomas pretended to cut hers.

Infertility Insurace

One of the worst things about infertility, is the costs associated with diagnostic testing and treatment. Not only do you have the heartache of being infertile, but most insurance companies won't pick up a penny of the costs. Not even to find out what is wrong with you or to talk to a doctor about it. Infertiltity is so traumatic, and to add the costs associated with it makes it ten times worse to deal with.

After 5 years struggling with this, you can imagine my excitement when I found out our new insurance covers diagnostic testing. I switched coverage at the advice of no one, everyone said I had the best around and offered to state workers, well, now I beg to differ. I switched our coverage in January, not because I expected inferitility to be covered, but because I was so fed up with the company we had been using. In fact, I read and read insurance coverage benefits for multiple companies and didn't think any of them would cover a penny.

Thomas and I both felt ready to move forward with tests this spring. When we found out the insurance was going to cover testing, it was incredible. I felt like I had won the lottery. What a BLESSING! So, in short, I have had over $3,000 in tests done in the last month, and have only paid $40 in copayments!

Our insurance will not cover treatments ... alas that is still on us. Regardless, I'll take the gift I was given and smile. Our tests are pending...

A quick update - March 23, 2010 - all tests came back normal! We are so excited. We still have another round of tests that will take place through the month, tesing things like hormone levels, uterine lining, and ovulation. I expect all these to come back normal based on our past tests, but we won't actually test until May due to my work schedule.

Growing Update

A quick update on the children, because that’s all I have time for these days.

They are doing absolutely fantastic. I’m actually amazed at how well behaved they have been for the last few weeks – maybe b/c I’m not there to see the problems. But it seems like we have really turned a corner and they are growing into happy, well-adjusted children who listen and obey. And no, they don’t obey all the time. Nor probably even most the time. But with a little extra instruction, a few time outs here and there, and everything seems to flow smoothly.
Jasper has had a couple big things happen in the last month or so. He got a haircut one night when I was working late – a Mohawk! It’s really kind of crazy looking. We plan on cutting it shorter again very soon—as soon, as I can be there to get some pictures.

He also started gymnastics and of course loves it. He loves to climb so there is no surprise that he would love hanging and flipping on bars, climbing up 6 foot ladders, and running around. All the other parents, and even the coaches, are quite amazed at how well he does. He can crawl on his hands and feet across two bars, walk on the balance beam mostly by himself, climb up and down the gigantic ladders, and is not scared of anything. At 17 months old, I don’t think they usually see children his age that can do all those things.

And with Jasper in gymnastics, Petra feels a little extra urge to show off. Since week 2 she’s been able to hang on a bar and bring her toes up to the bar. Now, she can nearly flip by herself. To do this she has to bring her legs up between her two arms, and flip over backwards. She usually needs just a little push on her bottom and over she goes. I think she could probably do it on her own, but enjoys hanging completely upside down. She has seen the most improvement in jumping and can hop across a room now.

She is doing absolutely fantastic at her “tot school” when I have time for it. She is learning all the time. This week I watched as her and Thomas laid on the sofa and read a book on the life cycle of the ladybug. She loves anything that you would categorize as science and simple would be happy if you could tell her everything about the world. She also loves to help cook and prepare food. As soon as I start, she drags a chair into the kitchen to stand on and helps as much as she can with everything. Usually this means, she stirring, or adding something to a bowl, or helping us cut up food using a butter knife. She is also very good at cleaning up messes and spills – grabbing a towel without us even saying a thing to take care of it.

She also loves to write letters, especially the letter “P.” And I would say she is doing a fantastic job. She gets a little carried away and sometimes writes on “other things.” Luckily she usually has a washable marker so it’s easy to clean.

And that is all I have time for. I will try to write another post about the children soon.

Here they are playing on a sheet and bed. Thomas is bouncing them up in the air.

Tot school - transfering rice between bowls. And cleaning up the rice off the floor. (Jasper had the broom but wasn't in the photo)

They love to hug on each other in the mornings. Jasper usually asks to get her crib and then they just spend a few minutes hugging or comparing to see who has the best pacifier.

While Petra throws a fit about heights at gymnastics, they are obviously not a problem for her.

On Valentimes day, laughing at the gifts Grandma and Grandpa Joyner sent.

Sometimes we get to go out for a hike in the woods still.