Something to be praying for ... and something to be thankful for.
One of my very good friends called me a little over a week ago to say that her first ultrasound (at 12 weeks pregnant) showed a very serious problem. The baby has a cystic hygroma ... and the doctors couldn't tell her what it is likely to mean until next month when they can take another measurement to see if its growing or shrinking. It could mean a late miscarriage, Turner's Syndrome, or many other things ... or could just go away. Please be praying for their family and the baby. I found this video online - "A prayer for unborn children" - that same day and fell in love with it.
After about a year or more of looking, I finally found a book on infertility that I wanted to read. It took a while. I won't ever forget trying to explain to the salesman at the bookstore that "fertility" books are different than "infertility" books. Turns out that in this particular store, fertility books and parenting books are in the same section, while infertility books are in the health section ... assuming that a store even carries one ... which really isn't all that likely.
But I've learned that my husband is quite exceptional after reading through a chapter in "The Infertility Companion" that explained some the of differences between men and women and the struggle to have a child. Many couples struggle with infertility and are usually always in different stages. The authors explain that women usually read about it more, talk about it more and think about it more ... and also usually move to consider adoption first. They also say that women usually read more and talk more than men in general ... I guess they haven't met my husband. I know he beats me daily in both of those activites. However, with that being said, I know I read more about infertility than he does and I also connect it with more activities than my dear. But on the whole, I would have to admit we are pretty close to always being on the same page. He talks about, he's concerned about it, he is willing and open to discuss anything on the topic ... and never do I feel like I'm being rushed or held back by him. If I've read something on the topic that I want to share with him, I simply ask and its done. No questions, no problems. And every once in a while I decide to bring up a topic about a possible next step ... sometimes a little wary about his reaction ... and every time he is supportive ... and more importantly we are able to move forward together.
Infertility is by far the greatest loss I've had to deal with, some days I nearly want to collapse with grief. In many marriages it causes problems; but I am blessed to have a caring and understanding husband ... his support and love makes it all bearable. And every day I am thankful that we are able to move forward as a team.