Sunday, January 7, 2007

Day Eight

Blood work had Estradiol at 1033, which is pretty much on track. Estradiol levels are different for everybody at different stages. What is safe for one woman is dangerous for another. As far as we know, everything is fine for us.

No change in drug routine yet. Two Bravelle and one Menopure tonight; one Antigone in the morning before we hit the road.

Tomorrow morning we are going to Jacksonville for what will probably be the final ultrasound before the retrieval and fertilization. I'm guessing they will have us come right back Tuesday for the retrieval, Wednesday at the latest. Which means implantation will be anywhere from Thursday (which would be really bad for both of our schedules) through Monday. Best case scenario is we go in on Tuesday for retrieval and Friday for implantation. Until it happens though, I don't have much else for you. So, let me address something different -

Everywhere we go now I hear Sherri say, "Do you want to look at the baby clothes?"

No, I don't.

Does getting pregnant, or just the thought of it, make women want to shop? I think it does. Clothes for her, clothes for the baby, furniture, accessories, travel needs (seriously, 4 car seats?), books...

Yes, you read that right. Books. The eggs aren't even fertilized and we are looking at books.

Big changes are ahead my friends.

Today, we were talking with Josh and he found a motorcycle he thought was a good deal and wanted to buy. "Maybe," Sherri said.

"No way," I thought.

But why? Well, "Here's the deal," I said, "personally, I don't care what you do after your done with school, in the military, or finished here and moved out. But look, If something happens to you I can't live with the guilt of having said yes." He looked disappointed.

"Besides, your family would never forgive me," I said.

"My job is to get you through school, and on with your life, preferably avoiding jail and without children of your own." That's my purpose for Josh.

I've been thinking a lot about purpose lately. Sherri has posted before about what people think of in vitro and whether it's Gods purpose for people to have children even if they need help. We all think about it.

And then I was reading today about the difference in destination and destiny. The difference between simply arriving at a stopping point along the way and fulfilling your purpose for being there in first place. One thing I know for sure is God sent Sherri to Tallahassee simply to bring me here. We spent years just a few feet apart, but it took her moving 600 miles away to get me to my next destination along the journey of my life.

Where are you going and what is the big picture, what is your purpose?

I asked Sherri if she thought she knew what her purpose in life was. She said she's always known, "To have beautiful, intelligent children who will one day change the world." She said when she was younger she didn't know how that was going to happen, but after she met me it became very clear to her.

Between the two of us I have no doubt our kids will be smart, but if they don't get her looks, well...

Destination and Destiny. Sherri and I think we have a firm handle of what we want for our lives and how we want to raise our children. We don't know how we are going to do it, where we are going to be when we do, and we don't even know how many kids there will be. But our next destination, that's in Gods hands and we need not worry about it. I encourage you to think about your purpose today and is it your destination or your destiny? I know my purpose right now and it's fulfilling, rewarding, challenging, and hard. No doubt there will be many more destinations in this journey.

Ultimately, I don't know what my destiny holds. Tomorrow, it's Jacksonville. After that... we can plan our weeks and plan our lives, but for what? I want to trust that God sent me to be with Sherri, and if her destiny is to raise beautiful intelligent children who will change the world then I will play a part. And, I hope she's right. If the only thing we ever do is love each other and raise intelligent children who change the world, then I guess well be OK. Our kids are special already and we haven't even put the parts together yet.

Books? I've got a few in mind, but let's get them here first. Besides, I think I'll start with that monster wedding album... yeah.

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